Pinch Me Hard

Pinch me.
Pinch me hard.

I want to know this is real but it feels like a fabulous dream.

After my plane was delayed at the San Francisco airport, (A Ron-delay?) sitting on the tarmac for two and a half hours while the captain occasionally gave us status reports:

“A fifteen cent bolt was replaced with the wrong one back at the hanger so we’re looking for the right one. We checked the red tray in the parts box but the paperwork didn’t match up so we went back to the hanger and we’re checking the parts locker over near the vending machine we have. There’s an outside chance we’ll find it in the gray cabinet at the bottom drawer- We’ll keep you posted.”

That is a direct quote.

Presumably they give you all this detail to put your mind at ease.
Dear American Airlines,
It doesn’t work.

“This is your captain speaking again. We’ve sent someone over to the supply room on the south side of the runway and we’re in contact with him via walkie-talkie. His name is Carl and he’s wearing a red baseball cap because it is a bit nippy out there-“

Will you shut up?!

So we finally get under way but it’s too late for me to make my connection at Ohare so I spend the night in Chicago and fly out to Montreal the next day.

Luckily getting my work permit goes off without a hitch and my luggage is waiting for me at the airport. Benoit, the fedora clad driver from Cirque du Soleil takes me to headquarters and it begins.

Apparently when you join a company like this they like to know what they’re getting.

In the past 2 days I’ve had a physical examination, a baseline brain test- (so if I have a concussion on the job they can give it to me again to see if I’ve got a hitch in my mental git-along) and I’ve had my full head cast. Through this all my heart is racing. Is this really happening? Somebody pinch me! Please!

Head in clouds, heart in throat.

I’ve had a shoe fitting. They are completely custom.

Can you say butter?

Then I have a make up test with designer Florence Cornet. We're going with a kind of Don Quixote look which I love:

Okay, maybe a little more Don Knotts than Don Quixote but you get the idea.

A wig fitting.

Can you say Plastic Man?

And a full head cast. Quite shocking to see yourself in such detail.

Two Rons don't make a right.

Finally I am introduced to my personal clown coach Roch. Great guy. He was an actor, became an acrobat and is now a clown. (I guess I’m skipping the acrobat stage.) Now he teaches clowning to “at risk” kids around Canada for Cirque. And me. Am I “at risk” too?

So they put Roch and I in a room with a bunch of props and we start hammering out the funny.
At last my training begins.
But come to think of it, I’ve been training for this all my life.
Maybe it started 40 something years ago when I stood at the end of a diving board somewhere in the San Fernando Valley and begged my dad to “Shoot me! Shoot me!” and fell into the water with legs and arms akimbo. When I got to the surface they were laughing. Hmmm.

(In those days I didn't dream of being a clown or even an actor when I grew up. I wanted to be a stunt man like my dad’s friend Hal Needham who created Stunts Unlimited.)

I heard an interview with Leonard Cohen shortly before leaving San Francisco. He quoted a Zen saying that may be apropos: "Leap and the net will appear."

Now here I am diving into another pool entirely, body akimbo, head in the clouds, heart in my throat, but instead of yelling “Shoot me! Shoot me!” I’m saying:

“Pinch me.”

“Pinch me hard.”

Squeezing the Lemon

Many years ago, while studying with Georges Bigot of the Theatre du Soliel ( a seminal workshop that had a lot to do with the formation of the Actors’ Gang) I was introduced to the concept of “Squeezing the Lemon.”

Existing somewhere between “Carpe Diem” and “Milking It”, Squeezing the Lemon was Bigot’s way of admonishing us to explore all the comic/tragic possibilities of a moment before moving on to the next. It’s become part of my own vocabulary when teaching and I’ve tried to keep the concept alive in both my art and life and I think my last week in San Francisco is a bit of a testament to that.

So here’s how I tried to "Squeeze the Lemon" before heading off to join Cirque.

The Ship

First a final sail on Valhalla. A brisk breeze, Danielle by my side, cole slaw and sushi at sea, a nip of Laphroig at port. Perfection. It almost hurt to button the boat up and say goodbye for now. Knowing she’s there, (growing a pendulous green beard of sea life) will soften my own feelings of moorlessness on the road.

The Crew

Next, had some great dinner parties with my very own Wicked Mercy Danielle Thys and Jeffrey Wiseman and Kimble Jackson, Lol Levy and Nancy Gold, (Click here to check out her book Finding Your Funny Bone) Carol Brubaker and Luc Martin.

Nancy spread her incredible collection of masks out on the floor at one point. Many designed by the late Bari Rolfe. All those personalities staring up at us filled the room with a this incredible feeling of power and expectation. These things are so packed with sheer mana. Here's just a few I shot at Nancy's book signing at Borders in San Rafael:

Jeffrey showed us some of his rare and fantastic collection of classic comedy footage. Jeffrey was giving me a crash course in clowning and I was just soaking in all that brief and flickering genius. (Lupino Lane, Charlie Chase, Martha Rae, et al) I was part laughing part crying throughout. Crying because of the sheer gravity of time separating us from these brilliant performers and laughing because, well, they’re so damn funny. I believe now I’ve watched every George Carl clip available. Click Here for him. I think there’s a quality he has that might be right for my King/House Manager character in Kooza!

The Sword

The Nishi Kaigan Iaido Dojo demonstrates a little Zanshin.

My Penultimate day in the Bay Area was spent at the Cherry Blossom Festival demonstrating Iaido with my colleagues from the Nishi Kaigan Iaido Dojo. As Nidan, I performed 5 Waza including Shinobu, (pictured) and a raucous katsu dinner with Sensei Diamantstein and the rest of the iaidoka followed.

High winds may have effected my performance somewhat.

The Show

With Gilkey and his "band", Jane.

On my final night I was a guest on The Gilkey Show, former Cirque du Soleil clown John Gilkey’s live talk show at the Climate Theatre where I did some mime, made a little funny, cut my finger onstage on a Campbell’s soup can I was using for a gag and got a grand send off with balloons, party hats, and jugglers hugging me (plus a nice bottle of wine from Jen Fong and a couple of squeezes from Robin Harvey/Trousdale) as I went off to Cirque with the strains of Alegria wailing in the background.

Joyous, but there were some tears. The next morning Danielle took me to the airport.
I guess when you Squeeze the Lemon you risk getting a little in your eye.

Next stop: Montreal